Award-winning ISP?
Eric Jervis Managing Director
Plusnet
The Balance
2 Pinfold Street
Sheffield
S1 2GU
16th January 2013
Sirs,
I rang you yesterday the 15th of January 2013 and requested a MAC number at 1448 hours.
I was asked to wait for two and a half minutes so that a person from another so-called team could give it to me.
After three minutes I hung up as I vaguely remembered having this trouble with you some time ago, and I had no intention of waiting indefinitely while the person made and drank a cup of tea.
I rang again at 1500 hours and got a different automated message, with no possibility of speaking to a human being.
I rang again at 1855 hours and was told by a machine that there would be a fifteen minute wait to speak to a person.
At 1857 hours I was told by a machine that the office was closed for the day.
I rang again today at 1147 hours and was told I would have to wait fifteen minutes.
I congratulate you on building a computer program that can recognise the phone numbers of irate customers and prevent them from ever talking to you but I have already cancelled your direct debit so all you can do is piss me off a bit more.
If you don't send me a MAC number by email very soon I shall forward a copy of this letter to my local newspaper and also to Private Eye, together with an explanation, so everyone may know what a bunch of crooks you are.
Eric Jervis
I rang them today (the 21st) at 1140 hrs (in a cold fury) and pressed one of the two available options on their automated system, to hear the following message in a comedy Yorkshire accent, "We're sorry for making you wait; all our advisers are currently busy. (What, both of them?) Please have your username and password ready for our security checks, and we'll answer as soon as we can".
This message was repeated ad infinitum until I spoke to Scott at 1156 hrs. At 1158 hrs dear Scott put me through to their Customer Options Team, as he (Scott) allegedly did not have access to MAC numbers. This particular Team played me pop music until a female voice answered me at 1207 hrs. Guess what? She allegedly did not have access to MAC numbers either, as she said she would order one for me which I might retrieve from the User Centre after twenty four hours. Reading from her script, she asked me why I wanted to leave my wonderful Service Provider, and acted deeply shocked at what had happened to me on the 15th, alleging that they were awfully busy and I shouldn't have had to wait longer than three minutes ha ha. When I told her that my present call had so far lasted thirty one minutes she acted even more shocked and bade me a hasty goodbye.
I'll keep you posted.